Signs You've Had Too Much of the 90s
(or that you are a consultant, or that you spend too much time online)

• You try to enter your password on the microwave. 
• You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted." 
• You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 
• You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 
• You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back "What's for dinner?" 
• Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 
• You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year. 
• You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page. 
• Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen. 
• You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date... and now sells for half the price you paid.
• The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you. 
• Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
• Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
• Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's home page to your bookmarks.
• You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
• You actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
• Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.
• You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
• You consider the time it takes to microwave popcorn even more painful. 
• You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.
• You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
• Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
• Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist any more.
• You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their profits.
• You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.
• You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
• You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
• You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
• You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
• You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door neighbors.
• You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
• You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
• You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
• You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person