Signs You've Had Too Much of the 90s
(or that you are a consultant, or that you spend too much time online)
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  • You try to enter your password on the microwave. 
  • You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted." 
  • You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 
  • You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 
  • You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back "What's for dinner?" 
  • Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 
  • You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next-door neighbor yet this year. 
  • You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page. 
  • Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen. 
  • You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date... and now sells for half the price you paid.
  • The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you. 
  • Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
  • Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  • Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's home page to your bookmarks.
  • You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
  • You actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
  • Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.
  • You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
  • You consider the time it takes to microwave popcorn even more painful. 
  • You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.
  • You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
  • Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
  • Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist any more.
  • You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their profits.
  • You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.
  • You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
  • You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
  • You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
  • You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
  • You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door neighbors.
  • You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
  • You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
  • You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
  • You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person