-
"I demand a salary commiserate
with my extensive experience."
-
"I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0
computor and spreasheet progroms."
-
"Received a plague for Salesperson
of the Year."
-
"Reason for leaving last job:
maturity leave."
-
"Wholly responsible for two
(2) failed financial institutions."
-
"Failed bar exam with relatively
high grades."
-
"It's best for employers that
I not work with people."
-
"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh'
and 'aah' over my experience."
-
"You will want me to be Head
Honcho in no time."
-
"Am a perfectionist and rarely
if if ever forget details."
-
"I was working for my mom until
she decided to move."
-
"Marital status: single.
Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
-
"I have an excellent track record,
although I am not a horse."
-
"I am loyal to my employer at
all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office
voice mail."
-
"I have become completely paranoid,
trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing."
-
"My goal is to be a meteorologist.
But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try
stockbrokerage."
-
"I procrastinate, especially
when the task is unpleasant."
-
"Personal interests: donating
blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
-
"As indicted, I have over five
years of analyzing investments."
-
"Instrumental in ruining entire
operation for a Midwest chainstore."
-
"Note: Please don't misconstrue
my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
-
"Marital status: often.
Children: various."
-
"Reason for leaving last job:
They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 AM every morning.
I couldn't work under those conditions."
-
"The company made me a scapegoat,
just like my three previous employers."
-
"Finished eighth in my class
of ten."
-
"References: none.
I've left a path of destruction behind me."
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