Quotes from Performance Appraisals
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  • "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig." 
  • "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." 
  • "I would not allow this employee to breed." 
  • "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be." 
  • "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 
  • "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there." 
  • "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." 
  • "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." 
  • "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 
  • "This employee should go far - - and the sooner he starts, the better." 

  • And, from a boss who clearly pulls no punches....
  • "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."