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The AOL car would have a TOP
speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
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The AOL car would come equipped
with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
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The car would often refuse to
start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
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The windshield would have an
extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
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AOL would sell the same model
car year after year and claim it's the NEW model.
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Every now and then the brakes
on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
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The AOL car would have a very
plain body style but would have lots'a pretty colors and lights.
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The AOL car would have only
one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
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Anyone dissatisfied could return
the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
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If an AOL car owner received
3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
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The AOL car would have an AOL
Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
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AOL would pass a new car law
forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
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AOL car mechanics would have
no experience in car repair.
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Younger AOL car drivers would
be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
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It would not be possible to
upgrade your AOL car stereo.
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AOL cars would be forced to
use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
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Anytime an AOL car owner saw
another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
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It would be common for AOL car
owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
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AOL car owners would always
claim to be older or younger than they really are.
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AOL cars would come with a steering
wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
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Every time you close the door
on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
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